Like most families, we like to spend time together and make memories. Unlike most families we also work together too which brings its advantages and disadvantages. But by using the services that our care home provides, it enabled us to create quality time and memories together before it was too late.
With that time we were able to:
- Regain Time
- Become less stressed
- Make memories and have fun together
- Rebuild Family Relationships
“Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend” by Theophrastus.
Just to start with a little bit of background, Brian Ballin (our dad) was the Chartered Quantity Surveyor working for a Charity to find a suitable site for a residential home for the elderly. The Charity looked at the ten sites selected but chose Coxbench Hall. At the negotiation stage for the purchase, the charity found that their Constitution allowed them to fund people in a residential home, but did not allow them to own one and could not change their Constitution in the time the vendor’s required.
Dad was left with a decision to also back out or strive forward to make Coxbench Hall the best care home in Derbyshire. The purchase of Coxbench Hall was completed on 31st July 1984 and welcomed the first 2 residents on 6th November 1984.
After finding his passion in life, he devoted 40 years of his life to building a care home that ultimately he was happy to call his home and found his eternal peace in. During those 40 years dad encouraged and advised all his 5 children to pursue their own dreams and careers however all 5 children gravitated back to the home and found their love and passion to collectively run the home.
Maybe we are in a slightly different position to most families but there’s one underlying common ground, we all want the best for our loved ones and want treasured memories to hold onto.
In 2019, our dad received the diagnosis that everyone dreads to hear about a loved one. As a family we heard that our dad had Frontotemporal dementia, from that moment we realised how precious time is and wanted to spend as much time together as possible but just like everyone else life gets in the way. For us we were all busy contributing to the running of the care home, running our own businesses or other job roles and having our own families to care for too.
Oh and that little thing called Covid was upon us.
After multiple phone calls asking why the tv wasn’t working, if we could pop round to fix the computer and squeezing in doctors appointments, it was safe to say that we spent a lot of time with our dad but that time was not creating long lasting memories and it started to feel like a chore. But the worry was there for all of us in the back of our minds constantly that dad was at home without anyone there to care for him and assist him if needed.
This worry grew and grew creating a stressful environment for us all.
After a fall at home, dad decided he would like to move into the close care apartments. After a full day of moving dad’s things into his new apartment, we toasted as a family to a fresh start and the beginning of making new memories together.
After a hospital stay due to covid, Dad came into the main home for respite care and decided it was his turn to be looked after and cared for long term.
He had devoted 40 years of his life to creating the care home that he wanted to be cared for at and this was his time to enjoy that hard work.
We were all in the privileged position that we were able to see dad nearly every day and spent our time sat round the table as a family at lunch times. Having meals as a family was always a large part of all of our childhoods and we all recall how important food and meals were to dad. Before dad moved into the home meals together felt different with an underlying stress followed by the guilt and worry of leaving, this was hugely reduced when knowing we were leaving dad in a safe and caring home with people around him 24 hours a day. It immediately felt like a weight has been lifted off us and this time together instantly became more enjoyable and meaningful.
We then found that we had more time; more time we could spend as a family. We started going out more together, without the pressure and stress of needing to help dad get ready beforehand, knowing that we had access to use of a wheelchair if we felt we needed it and also not worrying about what time we needed to get back.
Special memories were made with all of dad’s children and grandchildren too. Knowing that there was help on hand and assistance if needed, helped us facilitate creating special memories such as being able to bath his new grandchildren, get down on the floor to play with nearly crawling babies, pushing the pushchair around the gardens and birthday parties in the library with access to the garden that we could all enjoy together.
We were even able to make dads wish to see his final granddaughter come true by taking him in the care home mini bus to the 4d scan, seeing her nose, eyes, fingers and toes. At this point little did we know that the evening would be when we’d receive the diagnosis that dad’s cancer had spread and within 3 weeks those special moments would turn to precious life long memories.
Without set visiting times we were able to stay by dad’s side 24 hours a day to fulfil his final wishes.
You may be thinking well it’s different for us and our family but it doesn’t have to be, we can do this for you too.
We support all our residents and families in creating these memories.
- We put on regular events that all friends and families are welcome to join in with.
- We don’t have any visiting times so loved ones can come and go as they wish as if it was their own home.
- We offer a private event space in the library so families can celebrate and enjoy time together.
- We now pull on our own experience to continue to grow and put in place measures that will make life that little bit easier.
- And providing 24 hour quality care in a homely setting, giving you peace of mind
Can you imagine what you can do with the your quality time with loved ones?
Nearly everyone needs help with care sooner or later, you just need to let us know your time is now.
Click here to find out more
01332 880200
office@coxbench-hall.co.uk
